The ‘F’ Word.
Liquid lipstick mastermind and a god who walks among us, Kylie Jenner, once said, “2016 is a year of realizing things”. As I sit on my bed finishing up this blog post I have been working on for months, I still cannot help but be terrified to post it. And I can’t help but hate myself for being scared. Joan of Arc went to battle at just 14 years old and didn’t let anyone stop her. Mary Shelley was 16 when she fathomed the idea that became Frankenstein. Maybe I’m another teenage girl with a crazy idea, but maybe that is okay. Today on January 21st, 2017, there are women all over the world marching for women’s rights. Though I may be in my bed in Missouri, I have so many thoughts running through my head. So here I am today ready to unapologetically go feminist all over.
For those of you who do not know me, I am Bailey Gerecke. I am a girl. I am straight (as far as I know). I have an unwavering love of comedy, movies, and dogs. I hate to lose. And I am a feminist. I look back on a tweet from years ago and I cannot believe I ever denied being one. 2016 was the year that I really resonated with my feminism and now I am so ready to take it farther in 2017. I want to share the biggest things I learned about feminism in 2016.
What the ‘F’ are we actually talking about?
I think we should kick this off with giving the definition of feminism. A lot of people genuinely believe that we are a bunch of women who are wanting to take the world from men. Part of me can’t believe that people are so ignorant, but part of me can see that society may tend to paint that picture. Feminism, as defined by the dictionary, is the advocacy of women’s rights based on the equality of the sexes. Feminism is not the belief that one gender should be put above the other. Feminists are not to be confused with misandrists. We aren’t fighting to take over the men, but we are arguing for our fair share. In short: Yes, I am a feminist. No, I do not think all men are evil.
My body. My choice.
To this day I am so beyond baffled that this is a lesson we have to continuously teach women. It seems like a no-brainer. 2016 was the big uproar over the Planned Parenthood defunding act. Planned Parenthood has been assisting humans with reproductive health services since 1916. They assist with STD testing, cancer screenings, and birth control. However, when people first hear “Planned Parenthood” the first thing that comes to their mind is abortion. What people don’t know is that abortions only take up about 3% of PP’s services. There are all sorts of reasons that women get abortions and every single one of those reasons is completely valid. People are using the argument that “you shouldn’t have sex if you don’t want to get pregnant.” What a load of shit. No one should be telling you what you can and cannot do. There is nothing wrong with having sex. There is nothing wrong about having an abortion. There is something wrong with feeling like you don’t have control over your body because people think that your life is less important than a bundle of cells that could potentially be a child.
Boys will be boys. No means no
The first is a phrase that we have heard for years. A phrase that has time and time again supported wrongful behavior from men. I feel like I need to preface again that I do not hate all men, but I do hate what some men think that they can do to girls. The second phrase is something that should be ingrained in every living human’s mind. I now attend college and a number of horror stories of rape and sexual assault that surround campuses is terrifying, to say the least. Rape culture has etched so many wrong messages into the minds of people everywhere. We are teaching women that it is their responsibility to not get raped. There are products that have great intentions to prevent rape like the “anti-rape underwear”, but if you think about it too long it becomes disturbing. This garment is essentially sending a message that girls need to take every precaution to avoid getting raped. Let’s quit putting the blame on the victims and start putting blame on the rapists. It’s been months and I still get worked up over Brock Turner. For those of you who don’t remember him, let me give you a refresher. This boy is a swimmer a rapist from Stanford who took advantaged of an inebriated girl. Turner faced up to 14 years in jail. His prosecutors asked for 6 years. The judge sentenced him to 6 months. He served 3 months. Some people do more time in jail for a first-time drug offense. Turner’s dad said that his son’s life would be forever altered. I hope with every fiber in my body that is true. I hope he never gets a moment of peace for the rest of his life because that girl he raped never will. While that case went to court, many don’t. More than 90% of rapes on college campuses go unreported. The reasons? They know their offender, they believe they won’t do it again, or they believe that nothing will be done. And that Brock Turner case isn’t making any girl feel better. Rape culture is teaching boys that what I’m wearing and the fact I’m nice to a boy is me “asking for it”. GIRLS DON’T OWE BOYS ANYTHING. Rape culture is teaching boys that rape is okay if no one finds out. I don’t want to have to leave my dorm at night armed with pepper spray, wearing my anti-rape underwear, and a constant fear that I’m going to be harassed on the 2-minute walk to my car. Girls have a right to feels safe.
Pay it equally.
Why the hell have we not fixed the wage gap? I know a lot of people believe that the wage gap is a myth so I encourage you to do your own research on the topic. According to the American Association of University Women, the wage gap is up to women earning 80% of what men earn. That is a gap of 20%. Has the gap closed significantly in the last 60 years? Yes. But the progression of obtaining equal pay is slowing down significantly. If the rate continues with the speed it is currently traveling, then women will not close that wage gap until 2152.
Empowered women empower women.
Women have a visceral reaction to other women. Some can’t explain it, but women tend to feel the need to dislike other women with little to no reason. How unreasonable is that? For whatever reason, we see other women as competition and not as the members of the same team. My life became infinitely better when I quit viewing women as competition and started standing with them. I hear so many girls talk about how “she wears too much makeup”, “she sleeps with every boy”, or “her hair cut is too short”. We fail to remember that we as women know how hard it is to be judged in this society ran patriarchal world, but we are sitting there doing the same thing. Am I guilty of this? Absolutely. It is so hard to break what seems to be a habit that everyone has. What another woman does and how they live their life is not affecting me personally in any way. So why do I need to talk about her? She may live differently than I do, but we share this common connection of being women in this world. All I’m asking is for a little more kindness and understanding. Stand with other women, not against them.
The Election
The event that simultaneously tore our country apart, but brought a number of us together. I am not ashamed to admit that I was pretty positive that I was going to be a part of the first woman president. I had unwavering confidence that Hillary Clinton was not only the princess of pantsuits but going to run our country. And when I was wrong, I was absolutely heartbroken for more reasons than one. I realize that this sounds super melodramatic, but my reasons are completely valid. This was supposed to be the year of the woman. If we could have a female president, then we could officially show that women are capable of everything. The loss of Hillary made me question if a woman would ever be president. I was baffled that we were going to let our country be run by a man who said we should “grab women by the pussy”. A man who has been accused of rape. It looked as if women should just give up. But giving up is never an option. Is it extremely hard to think about moving forward when our loss was crushingly hard? Yes. But this gives us the reasoning to keep advocating for change and quit second guessing the mission. We are going to speak louder and not shut up like so many expect us to. I’m not going to sit here and shit talk Donald Trump because by now you should be able to infer my feelings about him. But may his newly won presidency bring the strongest, smartest, kick-ass, unapologetic wave of women this world will ever encounter. I’ve said it multiple times and I’ll say it again, the future is female.
My feminism was something I was very scared to be public with for a long time. I would keep it tucked away and only pull it out when it was convenient for the situation I was in. I didn’t want to annoy people with my beliefs and I was scared what people would think. My incessant need to be like was sometimes greater than my desire to make a difference in this world. I’m so happy to have grown so open and to be able to express my views in any way I view fit. And I understand that some girls/women are out there afraid to do the same. Not all feminist are public and loud with their views. Sometimes the smallest actions make the biggest waves. I’m just asking that you support equality among all people. Continue to grow. Continue to educate yourself and others. Continue to be unapologetic for believing in what is obviously right. Live by one of my favorite quotes, “Here’s to strong women. May we know them, may we raise them, may we be them.” I can’t find who said this, but it doesn’t matter. It sounds brilliant and poetic, but really it’s just absolutely right.
Fight on feminism, fight on.
mybaileylife 